Arkansas High School Music Teacher Encourages Dropping Out, “Focus on Rap Career”

Gary B. Keyes, a veteran educator and respected music teacher at an Arkansas high school, has taken a bold stance: encouraging his students to drop out of school and focus on their rap careers.

“Why waste time on algebra and history when you can be the next big thing in the rap game?” Mr. Keyes proclaimed during a recent school assembly. “Inflation? Pfft. Rap careers are immune to that nonsense. While your peers are drowning in student loans and struggling to find jobs, you’ll be rolling in cash, living the dream.”

Keyes, who once had a brief stint as a backup dancer for a one-hit-wonder in the early 2000s, believes that the traditional education system is outdated and irrelevant. “College is overrated,” he said with a dismissive wave. “Why spend four years and thousands of dollars on a degree when you can drop a sick beat and make millions?”

He went on to explain that the rap industry is a goldmine waiting to be tapped. “Look at all the successful rappers out there. They didn’t need a college degree to make it big. All you need is a catchy stage name, some flashy bling, and a few viral TikTok videos. Boom, you’re a star!”

Adding a personal touch to his advice, Keyes revealed that he is himself an aspiring rap artist. “I’ve been working on my own mixtape,” he confessed. “It’s called ‘Educatin’ Foolz.’ Trust me, kids, if I can do it, so can you.”

Parents, understandably, are less enthusiastic about Mr. Keyes’ revolutionary approach. “I thought he was joking at first,” said one concerned mother. “But then I realized he was serious. Now my son wants to drop out and become the next Lil’ Something-or-Other.”

Despite the backlash, Keyes remains steadfast in his belief that a rap career is the way to go. “Education is important, sure,” he conceded. “But let’s be real. In today’s world, it’s all about who can drop the hottest track. So why not give these kids a head start?”