MSU Football To Host Reality Camp: “You’ll Never Make It” 

In a bold move, Michigan State University’s football program has announced their plan to reopen a summer camp; designed to dash the hopes and dreams of aspiring football players. The “You’ll Never Make It” reality camp promises to deliver a healthy dose of reality to students who think they have what it takes to make it to the professional league.

The camp’s organizers have made it clear that their goal is to break the spirits of attendees, leaving them feeling defeated and demoralized. “We’re not here to coddle your fragile egos or boost your self-esteem,” the coaches quipped. “If you can’t handle the harsh truth, then maybe football isn’t for you.”

The program has asserted that the camp will barely recognize even the top performers. And even then, it’s no guarantee. “If you make the MSU team, you might get to play if the coach feels like it,” said a team spokesperson. “But don’t count on it.”

Former players who attended the camp have spoken out about how it helped them find new passions and interests outside of football. “I was devastated when they told me I’d never make it to the pros,” a former camper said. “But it was the wake-up call I needed. I’m now a successful accountant and couldn’t be happier.”

The camp’s organizers are clear: they don’t want to see you again next year. “If you can’t take the heat, then get out of the kitchen,” a coach asserted. “We’re not here to help you.”

If you’re a high school student with football aspirations, be sure to sign up for the “You’ll Never Make It” reality camp. It’s the perfect opportunity to have your dreams crushed and your spirit broken.